Traveling Depression

Depression is not easy.

Depression while traveling is even more complicated.

You are away from friends and family, there is no one around to give you the hug that you need, and the unfamiliarity of your surroundings can heighten the isolation depression often brings. Yes, it’s hard to reach out for help at home when you’re depressed. But while you’re traveling, you don’t have that option.

I’m not embarrassed to say that I was depressed during my time in Rwanda. I think depression is something that we need to talk about more.

I wish I could pinpoint the causes for this depression, but even at home it is often difficult to figure out the contributing factor(s). I’ve traveled all over the world, and I have never had to deal with this before. I felt guilty reaching out to loved ones at home because I didn’t want to make them feel helpless. After all, there was nothing they could do but try to give advice.  I also didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the opportunity to go on an adventure to a different part of the world.

But what do you do when you find yourself depressed while traveling?

After all, depression is something that you never read about in travel blogs.

I read a friend’s Facebook status the other day, which stated that the number one use of student health plans across Canada, is for anti-depressants, and that 1 in 4 people are dealing with some sort of mental health issue.

With so many people dealing with some kind of depression, it’s an important thing to think about it before you leave – especially for solo travellers.

Even the greatest adventurers must feel lonely at times, whether from isolation or unfamiliarity, or maybe even language barriers. Maybe your own demons from home stowed away in your luggage to come along for the ride. Either way, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if we think traveling will solve our problems completely, make us feel better, or be void of our everyday issues.

I didn’t think Rwanda would be an escape from the world. I expected it to throw me full-force into reality.

I tried to come up with a list of things to do if you’re alone in a foreign country and find yourself depressed. Music was the first item on the list, followed by writing. Both serve as a form of release. So does exercise, and reaching out to loved ones at home.

I came up with three travel-specific ideas: to revile in being uncomfortable, to let go of your expectations, and to do something you would never do at home.

I tried to make myself uncomfortable. It is often when we are uncomfortable that we change. On my birthday, I went for a swim at a hotel pool. Anxiety definitely made that an uncomfortable situation, but I went back another time, that time by myself.

I’m beginning to learn that repetition is the best way to become comfortable with something, even if it seems like something that you may never be comfortable with.

A friend of mine told me before I left for Rwanda that I should let go of any expectations I had of my trip. So I did. To travel day-by-day allowed me to take things one-step at a time, even when it got hard. I appreciated that wisdom when the trip did get a bit difficult.

Finally, I pushed myself to do something that I never would have done at home.

One of my first nights in Rwanda, my boss took us to a spoken word event, which I absolutely loved. He asked me that night if I wanted to perform. While I didn’t have anything prepared, I began to write something at that very event. I didn’t end up performing at the next event due to unforeseen circumstances, but I did show up with a poem fully prepared and practiced. Because I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to try the art, I posted the piece on my blog and shared it with people at home, which, while a different experience, was still a new experience all the same.

I tried really hard to make the best of my time in Rwanda, and there are only a few things I would have done differently.

One of the biggest things I wish I had done differently is pushed myself to make friends with more strangers. I tried this once, at one of the slam poetry nights, and ended up hanging out with another solo traveler and enjoying the show, even though I never even found out her name. I also wish I had spent more time with one of the friends I made at the beginning, because it wasn’t until the end of my trip that I realized we actually had a lot in common.

I ended up leaving Rwanda a week early and have been in Egypt for the past few days by myself. While isolation is sometimes depression’s worst enemy, for me, it’s been it’s best friend. I already feel better and am slowly going back to the adventurer I knew I was, but had lost.

I don’t think depression is an easy thing to deal with, at home or abroad. But there are always things you can do to make it better, or at least to help you get the most out of your adventure. I think it’s important not to forget that.